Still feeling some resistance and ambivalence to changing your wellness behaviors? Not a problem. Our brains are protective!
Our brains crave predictability. Predictability allows our brain to protect us and keep us safe.
Or at least, our brain believes that it can best keep us safe if it stays in its comfort zone and repeats familiar scenarios where it can predict the outcome. Even if these behaviors don’t serve us and have a negative effect, our brain thinks it’s ultimately doing its best to protect us.
This phenomena literally stems from prehistoric times of the cavemen when we were living in wild conditions and concerns like fending for our lives against a lion was a thing.
Back then, our brain adapted by filing away information of known threats and ways to cope or keep us safe.
Today, our brain still does the same. However, instead of determining how to protect you from lions, our brains determine how to best protect us by being drawn to what is “known”. Anything that is familiar is predictable, comfortable, and safe to our brains. Deviating away from this is frightening to our brains. As a result our brains literally crave what is known versus what’s unknown.
This is why change can be so challenging, even when it’s positive and healthy!
So if you’re not fully on board and feeling some resistance to change, it might be that we need to dive a little deeper to convince our brain these changes are safe and our survival won’t be at risk.
It may help to consider the following:
“An Elevated Pro/Con List”
Think about the way you’re currently doing things/your current routine.
★ What feels uncomfortable, annoying, impractical or dysfunctional?
★ What needs to be different or changed about how you’re currently doing things?
★ What worries or concerns pop up when thinking about changing your current routine?
★ What do I gain by not changing? (this one is *gold*)
Often what we find when we reflect on our concerns or discomfort with change we’re able to see how our brain is convincing us that NOT changing serves more than positively changing. We stay stuck in patterns, even if they don’t serve us, because our brain thinks it derives a benefit from the predictable and familiar. It has to work a little less when it doesn’t have to do something new.
Notice what you respond to those prompts above. In particular, the first and third prompts ask you to reflect on your emotions and provide evidence to support that emotion. Your brain tends to be subjective and will convince you that the evidence it finds is stone cold, indisputable fact. But is it though? Really challenge these beliefs your brain is telling you is concrete evidence and try to disprove and debunk the statements. Argue for how the opposite could be true. Which belief would serve you better?
Now, think about the changes you want to make.
★ What feels appealing, valuable, fun, exciting, useful, etc. about potentially changing?
★ What will I gain by changing?
✯ Bonus challenge: what will I lose by changing?
When we can clearly, objectively lay out the facts and the data our brain is more likely to get on board with change. We just need to rewrite and revise the narratives playing on repeat in our minds!
P.S. If you’re still not on board and feeling resistance to change, not to worry. We may simply have more reframing to do. In the meantime, there’s a saying along the lines of action starves rumination and brings clarity. That by doing, we can create a path and pivot from there to find our way. Therefore, if you need help to pick your next action, try challenging your brain a little further. In regards to your wellness habit(s) consider:
★ What feels easy?
★ What feels manageable?
★ What feels doable?
The trick for picking a next action: Imagine a scale to rank an activity or task in which 1 is impossible/never going to happen/couldn’t pay me to do it and 10 was laughably easy/simple/already done but I’m just not actually doing it consistently yet we want to pick a task that ranks 8 or higher. We start with an action we have certainty that we can achieve and build from there.
Practice makes perfect, even when it comes to the thoughts in our mind. Keep starving the negative narrative with small, positive action and your results will build and compound over time. You will make momentum!